Since we are currently knee-deep into the holiday season, I seem to have been volunteered for about 50 different Yankee swaps and Secret Santas with friends, coworkers and family members. I actually like this tradition because it can either be totally hilarious or just a total all-out trainwreck.
So, I went into my favorite store ever, TJ Maxx, last night to find a Yankee Swap item for my work event tomorrow, and I couldn’t help but notice the plethora of odd, weird, and outright horrible things they had in their holiday section.
I give you examples of things I better not get this year from St. Nick.
You know how I say one of my top fears is clowns? I kind of lied. I also hate really creepy dolls that look like they would totally come alive and go for your juggular in your sleep. What kind of demented toy maker thought that this was a good idea? This looks like some kind of sadistic nightmare in the form of something that should be cute but just looks like that kid in high school you were nice to just because he would be the one to bring a gun to school. Do not want.
What in the…? What kind of message is this so-called gift supposed to send? I am really confused because this isn’t just a sign, it’s actually the front of a tray-like thing, but it has something to hang it. Are you supposed to put your money in there? Your virginity? Holy crap. If someone gave this to me, I might throw it back at them and wonder what kind of 2-dollar hooker they think I am.
Okay, so this isn’t a bad present, I just got a huge kick out of it. The lady that was in the aisle with me as I was giggling and taking the picture probably thought I was mentally challenged. I’m tempted to go back and buy this for my gram, because she’d inevitably have something ridiculously hilarious to say about it.
I couldn’t find a Chia Pet, but one would have definitely made the cut on this list…..
